Friday, June 30, 2006
Pregnant and brunette!
Didn't Jessica Simpson just do some kind of naked photo shoot for some magazine?
I could swear I remember reading that somewhere.
I think there just might be a little competition between them.
Remember the show Newlyweds with Nick and Jessica?
Shortly after that show aired, Britney had her own reality show with Kevin. It was created with homemade video tapes!
Anyway, back to this cover...
It was just about a week ago that she was on an interview with Matt Lauer crying and saying she just wants to be left alone and have a normal childhood for her son.
Because now, she poses nude on the cover of a national magazine.
Am I missing something or does she just not understand?
Now that she has done this, dyed her hair black and posed nude, what would she think if no one paid any attention to her? If no one took her picture or rushed over to her? If people completely ignored her and treated her as if she was any other girl walking down the street?
I doubt very seriously that is what she wants. Do you think we would then see her trying anything to get the attention?
I guess what I am really asking, does she want the attention or does she not want the attention?
What do you think?
Have a great weekend!
Thursday, June 29, 2006
My very first post with a (one) comment
My post with the very first girl to comment, that still comes to the Castle
My post with the very first guy to comment, that still comes to the Castle
Nearly 11,800 people have viewed my profile and I have had nearly 51,800 visitors here at the Castle.
Thank you everyone for visiting!
You will always be welcome guests here, I hope you will continue to come back.
I love you all!
~hugs and kisses
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: May I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: May I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.
SomeThings PMS Stands For:
* Pass My Shotgun
* Psychotic Mood Shift
* Perpetual Munching Spree
* Puffy Mid-Section
* People Make me Sick
* Provide Me with Sweets
* Pardon My Sobbing
* Pimples May Surface
* Pass My Sweatpants
I guess I am one of the lucky ones. I truly do not suffer from PMS in this manner.
I do have several friends that do, the same as the examples above (physically and mentally)....
I am sorry for all of the gals (and men) that have to live with this.
Saturday, June 24, 2006
You are in a committed relationship, either married, engaged or dating, for several years.
This may be your very first committed relationship or it may not, but either way, you are now in the relationship that you want to be in forever.
This is the person that has connected with you like no other person, the love of your life, your partner.
You put as much of yourself into the relationship that you can and totally and completely love them, sharing everything.
One day, you find out they are cheating on you!
Your heart is broken and you feel a devastation like no other.
It crushes you to the ground, as you are in disbelief that the person you intimately and whole heartedly trusted has betrayed you.
Okay, here it is, the question....."What would you do"?
Now, let's think this through.
Of course, I know what most people would initially want to do.
You would be so hurt, mad, sad and betrayed that initially you might want to say or do something out of impulse.
This may not be the best idea.
So, I seriously want to know what you would do.
Remember, this is the person that five minutes ago you would have laid down your life for.
Your heart is torn apart and your soul fills with an emptiness.
You wish with all your heart that this wasn't true and that your partner had not betrayed your relationship.
You are hurt, but still love this person to the depth of your soul.
The first question you ask yourself is, "Why did they do this to me"?
Then you try to analyze as best as you can at this point, "What did I do to make them want to do this to me" (the person that truly loves them more than anyone)?
"Is there something missing in our relationship....sex, fun, talking, sharing, love"?
"Did they do it to intentionally hurt me"?
"How could they"?
Regardless of the reasons, betraying a committed relationship in this manner is morally wrong.
"Does this person I have been dedicated and faithful to, have no morals or ethics"?
"How could this be"?
"Will my heart heal from this"?
Do you confront your partner and say something immediately? (If so, what do you say?)
Do you ignore that this has happened and try to repair yourself and continue as nothing has happened? (Are you being true to yourself if you do this?)
Do you give them another chance and trust they will never do this to you again?
Or, no excuses, you messed up, get out?
So, what would you do?
Friday, June 23, 2006
There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird any way.
She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said,
"New house, new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad."
When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and said,
"New house, new madam, new girls."
The girls and the woman began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.
Moments later, the woman's husband Keith came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said,
Have a great weekend!
Thursday, June 22, 2006
The True Story:
The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.
Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife call to me from the kitchen. "Honey, the garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."
"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!"
"But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?"There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take a second."
So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as cowardly.
Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning and any respect to my circumstances.
No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our kitty, which discovered the fascinating dangling objects hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. At the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from "Harry and the Twins".
Wild animals are faced with a fight or flight syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose the "flight" option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.
When I woke, my wife and paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of "been-here, done- that" paramedics. Even worse, fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, trying to suppress their hysterical laughter and not succeeding.
Somehow I lived through it. A few days later I made it back to the office,where colleagues tried to coax an explanation about my head. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about -- which it was.
"What's the matter?" They asked, "Cat got your tongue?" Close, but not exactly.
**The above story was presented to me as truth, but the truth is I really don't know, and I really don't care whether it is or not. I just thought it was funny and the thought of something like this occuring in real life would just make it funnier! :)
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* If you lend someone $20 and never see them again, it was probably worth it.
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
* Never buy a car you can't push.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have
a leg to stand on.
* Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
* The second mouse gets the cheese.
* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one
* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
* We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
* A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Monday, June 19, 2006
Let's find out just how clever you really are....Ready? GO!!!
***First Question: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second personand you take his place, you are second!
Try not to screw up next time.
Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK ?
***Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are...?(scroll down)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?
You're not very good at this, are you?
***Third Question: Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it...
Take 1000 and add 40 to it.
Now add another 1000.
Now add 30.
Add another 1000.
Now add 20.
Add another 1000.
Now add 10.
What is the total?(Scroll down for answer.....)
***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Answer: Did you get 5000?The correct answer is actually 4100.
If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right.......Maybe.
***Fourth Question: Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana 2. Nene 3. Nini 4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Answer: Did you Answer Nunu?
NO! Of course it isn't. Her name is Mary. Read the question again!
***Okay, Now The Bonus Round: A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Answer: He just has to open his mouth and ask...
~*~*~*~*Side note: I am not this sarcastic in real life. This is how this little quiz was presented to me. I love you guys.
Friday, June 16, 2006
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
The data from my blog creates this beautiful picture.
The different colors mean:
blue: for links (the A tag)
red: for tables (TABLE, TR and TD tags)
green: for the DIV tag
violet: for images (the IMG tag)
yellow: for forms (FORM, INPUT, TEXTAREA, SELECT and OPTION tags)
orange: for linebreaks and blockquotes (BR, P, and BLOCKQUOTE tags)
black: the HTML tag, the root node
gray: all other tags
Click on the image to see it enlarged.
If you would like to see what kind of beautiful picture your blog data can create, go here.
Monday, June 12, 2006
A dating guru, Daily interviewed -- and continues to do so -- hundreds of bachelors to find out what makes a woman marriage material in this day and age.
Here, Daily dishes aboutthe 10 traits every man is looking for in a serious girlfriend:
1. She has a life of her own -- and it's pretty good to boot. Ladies, this means that you take care of yourself, pay attention to your personal style and find time to hang with your fabulous friends and family. You seek adventure by traveling. And you take in life's pleasures -- from indulging in dessert to walking through the park on a sunny day. "You don't expect your boyfriend to be your entire existence," says Daily. In other words, you're not waiting for some man to show up, so you can get your "real life" started.
2. She never makes the first move. This issue has been debated to death, and there is no true consensus. But Daily says that she strongly believes women should never, ever pursue a man. Instead, she suggests waiting for the man to initiate and plan dates. Her reasoning: If the woman is always the one calling, she will never know if he is really interested in her or if it's just convenient for him. She may find herself questioning the relationship every step of the way. Men simply aren't programmed to think like that and therefore are better suited to the chase, Daily says.
3. She is sexy without being trampy. This means something different at the beginning of the relationship than it does down the road, Daily says. In the beginning of courtship, a woman should refrain from making any comments that are overtly sexual. She also flirts by using nonsexual touch like placing her hand on his forearm or even the knee but only briefly. When the relationship gets more serious, and presumably more intimate, sexual touch and public displays of affection are more appropriate. At this point, it's okay to play footsie under the table.
4. She waits to have sex. Yes, the sexual revolution arrived long ago and few people expect a "pure white bride" nowadays. But sex is still a pretty big step for couples. Daily says that many women don't even realize just how much sex changes the dynamics of a relationship. When women have sex, they release a hormone called oxytocin (also referred to as "the cuddle hormone"), which some scientific researchers believe makes women feel extra warm and fuzzy for their sex partners. Daily warns that if women do the deed too soon, they might make too much of a relationship that barely ever existed outside of the bedroom. When you inflate the significance of a relationship, the man often bolts. Daily's advice is to wait at least one month into the relationship before having sex with your new man.
5. She does little things to show she cares. Daily has one friend who noticed that her traveling salesman boyfriend never had time to get his shirts washed, so he would just go out and buy new ones. Her friend started to drop off his laundry at the dry cleaners once a week. Daily herself cooks for her husband. "It's as if he doesn't even know where the kitchen is," she says. "But that's not to say that he starves when I'm out of town." No, you do not have to turn into June Cleaver. The bottom line is that you should want to do the little things that let him know you care and you are paying attention to his individual needs. And he should do the same for you. Daily boasts that her man scrapes the ice off her windshield on cold winter mornings!
6. She should be her boyfriend's best wingman -- err, wing woman. Help him to look good in front of the boss, advises Daily. Laugh at his jokes and help him shine when it is important. Of course, again, he should do the same for you.
7. She never turns on the pressure. This one is important. Men have a distinct aversion to any sort of pressure, says Daily. Therefore, women should avoid calling and/or emailing him many times during the day or dropping hints about the future. In fact, keep the dreaded M-word (marriage) out of your vocabulary all together. "Men don't want to constantly take the pulse of a relationship," says Daily. "They would rather just enjoy it."
8. She does not take any crap -- from anyone. A good woman never accepts bad behavior. Guys respect women with whom they can't get away with anything. If he knows there's a penalty -- like getting thrown to the curb -- for a serious violation like cheating, he'll respect you more, and he will be far less likely to do it. You should also never even bother to date married men, those who already have girlfriends or anyone who verbally or physically threatens or abuses you. Period.
9. A good woman always chooses a good man. That means that you should look for someone who is honest and dependable. He has to treat you right. If he says he is going to be somewhere, he is there. Chivalry is not dead, by the way. "Good manners are a deeper window into what kind of man he truly is," Daily says. You should also have compatible views on money (which is the number one thing couples fight about). Even though they say opposites attract, savers should think twice before shacking up with wild spenders.
10. She knows that love is the biggest part of the mating equation. Just how does a good woman know that she has found that crazy-for-you, toe-curling relationship? Daily says that some women have an "a-ha" moment, while love simply sneaks up on the rest. "I believe the feeling includes a unique sense of comfort and acceptance and the feeling that someone else's happiness is as important to you as your own," Daily says. "A certain amount of toe curling is key as well."
All right guys, you are the guys, tell me what you think!
Accurate, not accurate... really now, be honest.
Girls how about you, what do you think?
Friday, June 09, 2006
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says,
"Hey Koala ! What are you doing?"
The koala says:
"Smoking a joint, come up and have some."
So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints. After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.
A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard:
"What's the matter with you?"
The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!"
So the koala looks down at him and says:
"Whoa dude ... how much water did you drink?!!"
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Per Dave's request, Five Items in my Nightstand.....
1. A few books (including All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten)
2. Body lotion (you know, for dry hands)
3. Vaseline (you know, for dry lips)
4. Box of con......(I know what you are thinking....NO!)...a box of concert and theatre tickets of every show I have been to! =)
5. Okay, okay....a box of condoms (but I don't use them, I swear!!)
Five Items in my Fridge (nearly bare):
1. Drinks ~ Skim milk, apple juice, Dasani flavored water, Mt.Dew, one bud light, pint of Tequila (unopened for over a year now)
3. 2% american cheese
5. butter (real whipped butter)
Five Items in my Closet (jampacked):
4. back scratcher (Awww, this is wonderful)
5. spare computer monitor
Five Items in my Car:
3. life-size cutout of Legolas (in trunk)
4. St. Christopher (not the real saint, just a clipcharm on the visor)
5. change (coins in ashtray)
Five Items in my Purse (it is a very small purse with not much more than 5 items):
3. cell phone
5. pocket knife (with multiple little tools)
(sometimes feminine products, but no condoms!) ;)
The tag goes to:
I had to tag girls because I was not sure of how many of you guys have a purse! ;)
Monday, June 05, 2006
|Your Linguistic Profile::|
|65% General American English|
|5% Upper Midwestern|