2 years ago I wrote....

Have you ever been in a situation where you had to engage in small talk?

Generally speaking, I am very shy.
There are certain situations that compel me to overcome my bashfulness and be more amenable.
One of those scenarios would be my job. There is quite a bit of communication over the telephone and an occasional meeting with someone outside of the office.
Then there is the cashier or other store personnel of a retail or grocery store. I believe in always giving a smile and at least asking them how their day is going.
Of course, there is the wait staff at restaurants. The service you receive can be impacted by your personable skills.
In addition, there are many other social settings, gatherings, parties etc. that being timid is not beneficial.

If I am presented with the opportunity of meeting someone new, I try to embrace it. The ritual of meeting someone new, a lot of times, involves being introduced to a stranger by someone you know. Having a familiar face near you in this situation tends to make the encounter easier.
However, there are times in your life that you must go unaccompanied into the world. This is where your superior ability of social skills (the gift of gab) behooves you. You are able to make a choice of either being a wallflower ~ totally ignored, or you can be the social butterfly ~ the life of the party. We all know that being the life of the party is way more fun. So, if there is any way possible, the introvert should be out.

Nevertheless, there is one situation where I always feel the most uncomfortable. The level of uncomfortable ness can even vary from each instance.
This would be the elevator ride.
The elevator takes me to my work place destination on a daily basis, even several times a day.
The first scenario is the approach to the elevator. Sometimes, there is someone or several people standing in the lobby waiting for the arrival of the elevator. When you arrive to join the other person (or group of people), there is either silence or the beginnings of your small talk…
“good morning”, “how are you today”, “well, it’s hump day, middle of the week”, “hi, gosh I am glad it’s Friday”, “wow, the weather sure has been hot lately”, “it sure is taking a while for the elevator, I wonder if it’s working”, “oh, here it comes, I think this is the only one working today”.
Uggghhhhhh!
I can’t stand that small talk. You are just there, on your own, with no friend to share the stiffness with.
Sometimes, while on your way to the elevator, someone has already stepped on and you are not sure if they are holding it or not. You need to make the decision whether you are going to hustle there in time to jump on or have the door close in your face. When you make the decision to not hustle, that seems to be the time someone will stick their head out of the doors and say “Going up?” Then you reply as you pick up the pace, “Oh yes, I wasn’t sure if you were holding it or not”.
Now for the actual ride itself.
If you are on the elevator by yourself, you wonder if you will make it to your floor without stopping to let on a new arrival.
TWO, THREE, Ding, STOP, doors open, in walks an unfamiliar person.
Have you ever noticed how people look up when confined in that small shaft? What are they looking at? Sometimes, you will see people looking down, but mostly up. So, I try to look right at a person. (If you have read my profile, I don’t like predictability in a person). I don’t do it to make someone else uncomfortable, but because I feel uncomfortable doing what everyone else is doing (looking up).
Ok, stay with me now.
Someone has walked in, the doors close and you proceed to your destination. Who is going to break the ice? It feels way too strange to be in such a small place with another person (strange person) and no one says a word. Is silence more uncomfortable than the meaningless small talk? YES!
So, here goes… "Hi, how are you?” “Fine, how are you?” “Good…well, the day is half way over now, I’m glad” “Yeah, me too”…….FIVE, SIX, Ding (oh yea, my floor) STOP, doors open, “Ok, have a good day!” “You too!”
Whew! That is over, thank goodness.
See what I mean?
I mean, no one would ever be able to tell that I feel completely uncomfortable in that situation, but underneath, oh yes, I truly do! I think the uncomfortable feeling is compounded by the fact that the other person (people) appears awkward and uneasy.
That is kind of tough for someone that is shy by nature.
All in all, I enjoy talking to people, but that meaningless small talk with a stranger is not easy, especially in the confines of an elevator.
Most of the time, the more you are exposed to a situation the easier it gets.
Not the elevator ride!

Two years later.....the small talk in an elevator still makes me uneasy. I will usually say something, look at the other people (while they are looking above the doors at the floor numbers light up as the elevator goes up or down), or say nothing until I am about to exit, then I say "have a good day".

I hope all of you have a good day!
~xo
Lee Ann