Thursday, November 30, 2006
*~ What are you proud of?
My family (that includes you too poopoohead)
*~ What time do you wake up in the morning?
My alarm is set for 6:30am, but sometimes I get up at 6:39....6:48....6:57....oh crap, I am late!
*~ If there was one person from the past that you could go back and talk to who would it be?
My 4th cousin (Texas Jack)
*~ Name 5 things in your freezer at the moment...
Boneless breasts of chicken
French Vanilla ice cream
Sliced red, yellow and green peppers
*~ Do you believe in afterlife?
*~ What are 5 sites you visit daily?
Castle of Nannbugg
My work's website
*~ 5 things you ate that you would never eat again?
*~ 5 things that make you sad
Seeing my mom in pain
Pick one category and tell me about you!
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Nine things you did not know about me...
1. I won the State championship in the 100 meter butterfly.
2. I had grade three ligament and tendon tears in my foot, ankle and leg....spent 14 weeks in a fiberglass cast with crutches.
3. At one time I wanted to be a flight attendant, now flying is one of my biggest fears.
4. I had to take ballroom dance in the 7th grade.
5. I have lived in 5 different states and 8 different cities.
6. I have worked in a grocery store, record store, movie theatre, country club, hospital, personnel agency, eye clinic, newspaper, bank, data center, bookstore and insurance company.
7. The pet I had growing up was a dog, now I have 2 cats.
8. I am allergic to celery.
9. I love watching movies. I collect DVDs, but I don't have 200 yet!
I would love to learn 9 things about you, so feel free to tag yourself! Let me know if you do.
Have a good day!
Monday, November 27, 2006
Taco Hell and the $2 Bill by Peter Leppik
It amused the hell out of me while it was happening. I hope it isn't one of those "had to be there" things.
On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday ca$h Ineed, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold is a $50bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about people getting pissed at me.
ME: "Hi, I'd like one seven layer burrito please, to go."
IT: "Is that it?"
IT: "That'll be $1.04, eat here?"
ME: "No, it's *to* *go*." [I hate effort duplication.]
At his point I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny and says
IT: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."
He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within earshot.
The following conversation occurs between the two of them.
IT: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"
MG: "No. A what?"
IT: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."
MG: "Ask for something else, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A $2 BILL."
IT: "Yeah, thought so."
He comes back to me and says
IT: "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"
ME: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"
IT: "I don't know."
ME: "See here where it says legal tender?"
ME: "So, shouldn't you take it?"
IT: "Well, hang on a sec."
He goes back to his manager who is watching me like I'm going to shoplift, and
IT: "He says I have to take it."
MG: "Doesn't he have anything else?"
IT: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change."
MG: "I'M NOT OPENING THE SAFE WITH HIM IN HERE." [my emphasis]
IT: "What should I do?"
MG: "Tell him to come back later when he has REAL money."
IT: "I can't tell him that, you tell him."
MG: "Just tell him."
IT: "No way, this is weird, I'm going in back."
The manager approaches me and says
MG: "Sorry, we don't take big bills this time of night." [it was 8pm and this particular Taco Bell is in a well lighted indoor mall with 100 other stores.]
ME: "Well, here's a two."
MG: "We don't take *those* either."
ME: "Why the hell not?"
MG: "I think you *know* why."
ME: "No really, tell me, why?"
MG: "Please leave before I call mall security."
ME: "Excuse me?"
MG: "Please leave before I call mall security."
ME: "What the hell for?"
MG: "Please, sir."
ME: "Uh, go ahead, call them."
MG: "Would you please just leave?"
MG: "Fine, have it your way then."
ME: "No, that's Burger King, isn't it?"
At this point he BACKS away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people STARING at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45 year oldish guy comes in and says [at the other end of counter, in a whisper]
SG: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
MG: "This guy is trying to give me some [pause] funny money."
SG: "Really? What?"
MG: "Get this, a *two* dollar bill."
SG: "Why would a guy fake a $2 bill?" [incredulous]
MG: "I don't know? He's kinda weird. Says the only other thing he has is a fifty."
SG: "So, the fifty's fake?"
MG: "NO, the $2 is."
SG: "Why would he fake a $2 bill?"
MG: "I don't know. Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"
SG: "Yeah..."Security guard walks over to me and says
SG: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use."
ME: "Uh, no." SG: "Lemme see 'em."
SG: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"At this point I was ready to say, "SURE, PLEASE," but I wanted to eat, so I said
ME: "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this $2 bill." I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I was taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says
SG: "Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"
MG: "It's fake."
SG: "It doesn't look fake to me."
MG: "But it's a **$2** bill."
MG: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"
The security guard and I both looked at him like he was an idiot, and it dawned on the guy that he had no clue. My burrito was free and he threw in a small drink and those cinnamon things, too. Makes me want to get a whole stack of $2 bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. At least you get free food.
I hope you all had a happy Thanksgiving...and/or a great weekend.
Have a great week!
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
I was on my way to get something to eat.
I realized that my feet were cold, so I turned on the heat in my car. The temperature has been much cooler the past few days and it was about 39*F.
A few minutes later I came to an intersection and stopped at the stop light.
There it was.....I was struck with an emotion that came over me and filled me up.
I saw a man standing on the grassy area holding a cardboard sign.
I could not read the sign, but I could tell he was cold.
He was wearing a ski cap and had just zipped up his coat.
He had that look, the one of dispair.
I have never never never contributed to the people that stand on the side of a highway, advertising or asking for money. I know that many of them are not destitute and have contrived ways to acquire funds from people.
Many of them can make a pretty good living doing this.
There was something irrepressible that told me I had to help this man.
I do not normally carry much cash, but I reached in my purse and pulled out my wallet.
When I opened it, all I had was two $1 bills.
I rolled down my window and he approached my car.
I held out my hand with the two bills flapping in the wind.
He took them very graciously and said "bless you".
All I could manage to say was "good luck".
I rolled up my window and a moment later the light at the intersection turned green and I drove away.
I started crying almost uncontrollably. I kept thinking about this man.
I was thinking how hard times can be for me sometimes, but even during my toughest times, I have a soft bed and a warm home.
Then I could not help but wonder what this man's story was.
How did he end up on the street?
Does he have any family or friends?
How does this happen to someone?
I also thought about Thanksgiving and wondered what he will give thanks for.
I do not regret giving the man a couple of dollars, in fact, I wish it could have been more.
This situation, this man, has made me reflect on my life and has helped remind me of the things and the people I am thankful for.
I am thankful for my family, my friends, my job and so many things in my life.
I hope all of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Have fun and be safe!
Love to you all,
Monday, November 20, 2006
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated came as a rude shock, like the roaming charges that appear on your cell phone bill when you make a long distance call from Mexico.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
12. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
13. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
14. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
15. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
16. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
17. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
18. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
19. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
20. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
21. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
22. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
23. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard chimes ringing, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
Some of these made me laugh!
If you have a good one, share!
Have a great week...
Love you all!
Friday, November 17, 2006
Lee Ann will go to jail for ...
Mooning some cops
'What sexual activity will you go to jail for?' at QuizUniverse.com
|Lee Ann's sexual nickname:|
Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com
Lee Ann --
A dainty little maid costume
'How will you be defined in the sexual dictionary?' at QuizUniverse.com
|Using your mouth|
Your sexual hidden talent is your ability to use your mouth. You are incredibly sensual, a great kisser and a seductive lover. You drive all of your partners crazy with your mouth.
Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com
You are charming.
You are very bright, and able to completely express yourself verbally. You have a lot of charisma and people are naturally attracted to you.
'What is your seduction style?' at QuizUniverse.com
Have a great weekend! Stay warm and dry!
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
"middle of the week" day!
Little branch near the bottom of the tree!!!!?
I know these are not pea pods, but they look like them to me.
These are on a tree, mixed in with the leaves!!!!?
Just say hey!
Have a good day! (that rhymes!!!!)
Monday, November 13, 2006
This plant is very special to me. A co-worker at my last job gave this to me when our office was relocated. I have had it for 7 years now. There is a little ceramic elf that hangs on the edge of the basket. The elf was given to me by a different co-worker at my last job. She brought it back as a souvenir from the Netherlands.
This is something that I love....my clock radio. I get to listen to music all day long. I keep it on low volume most of the day. Oh, and the little bear...just something cute. (Sort of a thing for my nick name...can you guess?)
The little tv....no, I don't watch tv all day long, however, I probably could. There is one of my co-workers that does (well, at least she keeps it on during the day). Whenever there is a special report or bad weather I will turn it on.
Your turn....either tell me 4 things that you have in your office, or post 4 pictures of something in your office.
Have a great Monday!
Love you all...
Friday, November 10, 2006
Thursday, November 09, 2006
I was in Barnes and Nobles the other night....in the computer book section and I saw this book on the shelf.
I started to "LOL" haha....
Although funny, I was not "ROTFLMAO"!
so....I said "bbiab"
and.... "u wont b leev this"
... "4 real"!
I had to...
...I pulled out my "phone" and took a picture!
So... r u LOL now?
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Dr. Phil's Test ... try it.
Below is Dr. Phil's test. (Dr. Phil scored 55 -- He did this test on Oprah -- she got a 38.)
Some people pay a lot of money to find this stuff out. Read on, it's very interesting!
Don't be overly sensitive!
The test is pretty accurate and only takes a few minutes.
Only 10 simple questions, so...... grab a pencil and paper; record your answers...read your results.
1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon and early evening
c) late at night
2. You usually walk...
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly
3. When talking to people you...
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair
4. When relaxing, you sit with...
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you
5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
a) big appreciative laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile
6. When you go to a party or social gathering you...
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed
7. You're working very hard, concentrating, and you're interrupted. You...
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes
8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) red or orange
c) yellow or light blue
e) dark blue or purple
g) brown or gray
9. In bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep, you're...
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers
10. You often dream that you are...
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant
1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1
Now add up the total number of points.
OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care." You're seen as vain, self-centered, and extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you. However, they don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.
51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.
41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced to not let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.
31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make, and who expects the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.
21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful; a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsive or in the spur of the moment. They expect you'll overexamine everything from every angle and then, usually, decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.
UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive. They see you as someone who needs looking after. The see you as someone who always wants someone else to make the decisions and who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Friday, November 03, 2006
It was so much fun!
I wish you could see these photos full size, these small ones don' t do the animals justice.
There were several alligators....with slimy green muck from the swampy waters they swam in!
This gorilla was quite amusing. He knew it too. In the 2nd photo, he was directly in front of me staring right at me.
In the third photo....he was doing his "trick". He would bend over, shake his head back and forth, then sit up and regurgitate some green stuff into his hand then eat it. Every time he did this, the gallery of people would moan.....Ughhhhhh, in unison.
One big hippo!!
This elephant is 59 years old. She has been at this zoo for 51 years.
She was doing her aerobics. The trainer does this with her daily to help with arthritis.
This rhino was being a "bad boy" the trainer said. He was not minding when they were giving him instructions. They were doing their daily check of hoofs and horn, etc.
There were several buffalo....woooo.....stinky!!
The giraffe were beautiful. I love the head shots.
The zebra are always fun to look at.
My absolute favorite... the white tiger. He was gorgeous. Piercing blue eyes. I was lucky enough to have him walk right in front of me as soon as I approached the area. I got a couple of shots, then he squatted and peed, directly in front of me.
There was so much that I did not take pictures of. I didn't record the monkeys "doing it", nor did I photograph, the birds, fish, or the snakes and other reptiles...ewwww!
It was great fun. The Alabama symphony was to play at 2:30 near the Monkeys. Around 3:30 they were just starting to perform. I was disappointed as we had to leave the zoo by 4:00. They were closing the zoo at 4:00 to reopen for "Boo at the Zoo" at 5:00.
So, we left....then later discovered the time had changed from daylight savings time to standard time. The symphony actually started on time, we could have stayed another hour...oh well.
Do any of you have big plans for the weekend?
Have a wonderful weekend!
Love you all....
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)
And my personal favorite:
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
Have a great day!
Hey guys....I just wanted to tell you that I love you all and that I don't neccessarily agree with all of these statements, but found them to be amusing.