Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Through the eyes of babes...

NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was starknaked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!


HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.

OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."



KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answerthe phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."



MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"



ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The toothfairy will never believe this!"



DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.""And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."



SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"



BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He pickedup the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear.

28 comments:

Fred said...

Good laughs for a Tuesday morning. Love the one about the little boy in the ladies locker room. I could so see me doing that. (Heck, can I do it now?)

Alecia said...

Good times, good times...

Becky said...

Adam's underwear, that's a good one. Kids are so great! I can't wait to suck the youth out of my own and embarass them!

Mike said...

Cute and funny...gotta like that.

Neo said...

Lee Ann -Those stories are too cute. I didn't know you had children.

BuccoTom said...

Gas it takes to drive to work? ... $2:31, Minutes per day spent chained to the keyboard? ... 300, Sneaking away from transcribing interviews to spend a little time perusing Lee Ann's blog? ... priceless, just like the lady herself. LOL

Lee Ann said...

Fred ~ I thought those were funny as well. Everyone needs a little laughter, right?

Alecia ~ They are too cute aren't they?

Becky ~ I bet you will be a great mom!

Mike ~ I know, good for a little chuckle anyhow.

Neo ~ They are cute, someone emailed those little quotes, I thought they were funny!

buccotom ~ Thank you, so sweet of you! Love having you around! Please keep coming by.

Gyrobo said...

That tears it! I'm going to set out to write the funniest joke that ever lived!

Tomorrow.

Hard Work Often Pays Off After Time, But Laziness Always Pays Off Right Now.

angel, jr. said...

I like the Opinion one--however a child usually does express the opinions they are exposed to.
And the Bible one.

Ilaiy said...

I love that .. Made me smile and want to go back to those days of innocence and fun ..

./thanks
ilaiy

Ellen said...

Kids really do say the darndest things, don't they?
All too cute, and all so innocent!

You always find the cutest stories to share with the rest of us.....
proving we are the lucky ones to read your posts.

The Bastard Son said...

kids are the greatest...funny stuff...

you might check the pic I used to link your blog from my blog...I can change it to whatever you'd like.

jonathan

Kay Ray said...

ahhh those were so cute!!

hotboy said...

Excellent! Gave me a laugh, especially the Elderly one! Hotboy

g semer said...

Thanks, these warm my heart.

Lee Ann said...

Gyro ~ oh boy! I look forward to it!

Angel ~ you are so right, they react to what they are exposed to!

ilaiy ~ I am with you on that, nothing is cuter than the wide eyed innocence of a child.


Ellen ~ They do say the darndest things! Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so glad to know you.

Jonathan ~ I know, kids are great.
That has to be the coolest link I have gotten...thank you!

Kay Ray ~ as cute as you!

Hotboy ~ I loved them too, gave me a tickle!

G semer ~ So nice of you, they warmed my heart as well.

jiggs said...

This just goes to show. Children have to be beaten regularly.

twolf1920 said...

Yeah, but Leeann likes the occasional spanking~

Calzone said...

I can't read this...my eyes are all blurry with tears since you left me

Lee Ann said...

jiggs ~ hey, I miss you.

T ~ now now, shhhh, don't tell!

Baby ~ Don't cry, I am still here, I thought you left me!

SimonT said...

Very thought provoking and funny - toothbrush is my favourite. Fun visiting.

Gyrobo said...

A picture is worth a thousand words.

So here's my amazing joke.

Lee Ann said...

simont ~ Hey! Thank you for stopping by. I hope you come by more often.

gyro ~ haha, very good. I like the drawings too!

fl13grl said...

Thank you for the giggles! :) Take Care and Best Wishes! ...t

Lee Ann said...

lil irish ~ Hey! Thank you for stopping by. It is good to have you here, hope you will come by again.

robmcj said...

My favourite is the toothbrush one.

ticharu said...

Cute little stories, Ticharu was entertained, Ticharu smiled... toothbrush story funny, but what Ticharu really want to know is... how do you asign color to yer text?

Lee Ann said...

Rob ~ They are funny, and you are not the first one that liked the toothbrush one the best!

Tich ~ I am glad you were entertained. There is a color palate on the "edit post". I highlight my text then click on a color.