Thursday, September 06, 2007

Did they really say that?

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."

Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss ?USA contest

Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
Brooke Shields, during an interview to becomespokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."
A congressional candidate in Texas

"Half this game is ninety percent mental." (hmmm....I wonder what the other half and 10% are?)
Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
"We are ready for an un foreseen event that may or may not occur."
Al Gore, Vice President

"I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix ."
Dan Quayle

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
Lee Iacocca

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
Bill Clinton, President

"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."
Keppel Enderbery

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman


jiggs said...

I think the exact same thing about the starving children. Their ribs are so hot!

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angel, jr. said...

I remember hearing about Mariah saying all that stuff about being skinny without the flies.
Didn't Dan Quale also have some other doozies?

Hotboy said...

Thank you for this, Lee Ann! Really cheered me up!! Hotboy

Crabby said...

All of a sudden, I feel so much smarter. Possibly even Mensa material smarter.

JLee said...

too funny!

josh williams said...

The Quotable Bozo.

FreeThinker said...

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
Dan Quayle

Semi-Celibate Man said...

Hi Lee Ann. You are awesome! Made me laugh, as always. Love your posts.

I appreciate having known you in the blogging world. Stop by and catch my final posts. I'm out. Bye.

TUG said...

That's some funny stuff. A bit sad as well, but still funny :)

rob said...

Brilliant! LOL ++