Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Have you ever wondered?


.....Iron Man Competition (the way it should be)!

ONLY IN AMERICA:
Only in America...Do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to tet their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes in the front.

Only in America...Do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke!

Only in America...Do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America...Do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage!

Only in America...Do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America...Do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "poli" in Latin means "many" and "tics" means "bloodsucking creatures".

Only in America...Do we have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering!

Ever wonder...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all of your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called a rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitos?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

25 comments:

Leesa said...

I love Alanis Morissette! And your list made me smile. I have heard many of them before but it was what I needed today.

Why do we drive in parkways but park in driveways?

Ellen said...

.... or why is there JUMBO shrimp?
Wonderful oxymorons!

Big Mama said...

Great list! All I have to say about them.... Amen!

MyUtopia said...

That is too funny!

Heather said...

Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?

Captain Carl said...

Arrr.....now ta Capt's Brain hurts....neat list....

Edge said...

no ... don't think about that ... should I think about it more?

~Jef

Semi-Celibate Man said...

Although I've heard some of those before, they are all always funny. Thanks for making me laugh today.

rastaman said...

Awesome stuff, Babygirl!!

**peace and hugs to you, babygirl**

Lee Ann said...

Leesa ~ Oh I love that one too! I really do wonder why they call it parkway and driveway! :)

Ellen ~ Exactly!

Big mama ~ I love hearing them too.

Myutopia ~ Glad to see you smile!

Lee Ann said...

Heather ~ Oh, very good one!

Cappy ~ Hey my favorite Captain!

Jef ~ Hmmm...yes, I think you should! :)

SC ~ Glad you stopped over, I enjoyed your visit!

jiggs said...

They must lose a lot of pens in other countries.

Lee Ann said...

Rasta ~ Hey my Rasta man. I always enjoy your company.

~ Peace and hugs from Babygirl

Polyman2 said...

Sounded like George Carlin.
Funny quirky us.

Gyrobo said...

Why, the word derives from the Latin terminus, meaning "a place from whence one exits an airplane."

Those Romans, always thinking of the future.

ticharu said...

A couple of those were particularly good but I've forgotten which ones now... mind like a sieve

Lee Ann said...

Poly ~ quirky us :)

Gyro ~ I think the algorithm is all wrong!

Tich ~ me too! ;)

Montezuma's Revenge said...

Those are great Lee Ann. I've always liked the one that Heather threw out (Interstates in Hawaii).

However, the black box on the plane - I'm pretty sure the airplane would be too heavy to fly (or the gas burn would be enormous) if the plane was made out of the black box material.

Montezuma's Revenge said...

Also, I just checked out "leesa"'s profile and I'm very upset that I didn't meet her when I lived in Atlanta....

Lee Ann said...

Hey Zuma ~ it has been a while since I have seen you. I am glad you came for a visit at the Castle. I know, the black box plane would be heavy. If we are going to think "outside the box", I think they should make all cars out of spongy type of rubber!
Atlanta is almost home away from home for me. My brother lives there and it is only an hour 45 min. drive. Where do you live now?
Please come visit me more often, you are always welcome. :)

boo said...

iron man competition *grin*

hotboy said...

Enjoyed this Lee Ann! Why do folk iron clothes? I've never ironed anything. Nobody has ever ironed anything for me either. It's a strange thing to do. It's the kind of thing you'd do to listen to a radio play. They don't have those in America, do they? Hotboy

Lee Ann said...

Boo ~ ;) I like that one too.

Hotboy ~ I don't enjoy ironing. Unfortunately, there are some clothes that must be ironed. A radio play? I don't think we have those in America, that I know of. I think at one time there may have been!

robmcj said...

Very good Lee Ann!

My dog would like cat-flavoured dog food.

Lee Ann said...

Rob ~ haha, I bet he would!