Wednesday, May 10, 2006

"Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously"

1. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

2. A day without sunshine is like, night

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

4. I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory.

5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

8. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

9. Remember, half the people you know are below average

10. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

11. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

12. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

13. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

14. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

15. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.

16. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

17. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

18. Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!

19. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

20. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!

21. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

22. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand...

23. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

24. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

25. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

26. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

27. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

28. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

29. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

30. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

31. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

32. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

33. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

34. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

35. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

36. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

37. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

38. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.


Leesa said...

Love these one liners!

rastaman said...

Babygirl, you keep Rasta in stitches. And in awe!

peace and hugs to ya, Babygirl

Spencer said...

Good post!

jamwall said...

i'm not serious, i'm just intense.

Saur♥Kraut said...

I like #16. I want a bumper sticker of it.

angel, jr. said...

I like number 20. I smile when people acknowledge my accomplishments and once they have acknowledged them, I don't let them forget them.

truckdriver_sefl said...

Now that is my kind of list!!

Have a great day Lee Ann:-}

MyUtopia said...

That is perfection. I set it to all of my co-workers. THis is a great mid-week giggle.

boo said...

honk! i love visiting with u :)

scumbag said...


Lee Ann said...

Leesa ~ I am not feeling too creative.I have enjoyed these, so thats what I give to all of you!

Rasta ~ You are awesome my Rasta man! *peace and hugs*

Spencer ~ Oh, glad to see you! Please come back to the Castle.

Jams ~ Oh, I do know that. You are more than intense cutie!

Lee Ann said...

Saur ~ Oh, that is a good one!

Angel ~ I am modest too, but I am proud when other's notice my accomplishments :)

Trucker ~ Hey Trucker, I hope your root canal is doing ok! Have a great day.

Myutopia ~ It is always fun to giggle! I think it is good for you.

Lee Ann said...

Boo ~ I love that you visit me! Have a great day.

Scumbag ~ haha...glad to see you!

Heather said...

I love those!!

Polyman2 said...

I take this list

Ellen said...

I like #25 & #36... they seem to fit me to a T!
Thanks for the giggles!

Lee Ann said...

Heather ~ I am glad you enjoyed it~

Poly ~ You should! hehe

Ellen ~ I know what you mean!

Dave Morris said...

Ah, yes. Lee Ann words to live by.

jiggs said...

come check out my blog!

Bathroom Hippo said...

39. When changing oil: Remember that you've failed society. You're a failure and will never amount to anything. Now go to college!

Lest we forget.

Lee Ann said...

Dave ~ Yes, I guess they are! :)

Jiggs ~ Ok Jiggs, you are a doll!

Hippo ~ Very good words sweet Hippo!

robmcj said...

These are terrific. 25 is a good motto, and 11 has a certain truth.

Lee Ann said...

Rob ~ You are so right! :)