Monday, July 23, 2007

He said She said

Eight Words with two Meanings ....

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female .... Any part under a car's hood.
Male .... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female .... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male .... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female .... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male .... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female .... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male .... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female .... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male .... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female .... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male .... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female .... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male .... Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female .... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male .... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

AND....

He said .... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said .... You wear pants don't you?

He said .... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said .... That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said .... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said ....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said .... How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said .... We don't know; it has never happened.

He said .... Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and
Good- looking?
She said .... They already have boyfriends.

She said ....What do you call a women who knows where her husband is every night?
He said .... A widow.

He said .... Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said .... Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

** I received this through an email. This is posted purely for entertainment purposes. These statements do not necessarily reflect how I perceive things in real life!

13 comments:

angel, jr. said...

Hello!! I didn't know you came back!! I'm coming into the castle for some ice tea and to say I missed you!!

Meanie the baby dragon said...

Hi Lee Ann! It iz tu hot heow in Wyomin doh me need tu go tu yo Kazzow an whim in yo moht! How bowt ah ov August?

EBEZP said...

Some of those are really funny and worryingly some are really true!!
Welcome Back

Menzies Milngavie III said...

I say!

Très amusant.

MM III

Kay Ray said...

I missed you too nannabugg!!!!

Rastaman said...

I shouldn't have smoked before I stopped by ... I can't stop laughing, and my sides are killing me!

Peace and hugs to you Babygirl ... you are SO beautiful!

JLee said...

hahahah...too funny.

~Tim said...

She said, "You know, married men live longer than single men."

He said, "Nah, it just feels longer...."

green said...

Some of these are very appropriate. Some of these are stereotypical. But they're all funny to some degree. Happy Monday!

rob said...

Are you saying women don't enjoy flatulating? In my experience, they just don't like competition.

green said...

You have been tagged. Go see.

Crabby said...

Number 8. It's true. Every word. There are nights I swear, when I want to take that remote and......well do really bad thing with it. LOL!

b o o said...

you had me at "thingy" :o)