Friday, November 18, 2005

Pickle Slicer


There once was this man who worked in a pickle factory, who had this very great and powerful desire to put his "member" in the pickle slicer. This went on for years, and he couldn't stand it, so he decided to seek professional help for this odd infatuation of his.
He spends a few months with the shrink, and the doc finally gives up and tells the man that since his desire is so powerful to put his "member" in the pickle slicer, the only way to get over it was to do it. The man gladly agrees and says he will do it the next day at work.
The next day he comes home from work about 11 AM. His wife is very worried and asks what happened. He explains to her, for the first time - the desire he has had to put his "member" in the pickle slicer.
And then explains that he couldn't take it any more and today he did it.
She gasps and runs over to him, yanks down his pants and briefs, only to see his "member" perfectly normal and intact. She looks back up and says, "I don't understand, what happened to the pickle slicer?"
"I think she got fired too."

Ok, I know you have probably already heard this one, but I thought it was funny. I needed something funny, because it's Friday and I am tired! I hope all of you have an excellent weekend.
*Hugs* cya later ~

66 comments:

Calzone said...

You are always tired lately dog. I've noticed when I look in your windows at night that you are going to sleep a lot later. Take care of yourself baby

Lee Ann said...

Good morning baby. I thought I caught a glimpse of you out the window last night! I have just been a little sleepless lately. I get headaches when I don't sleep, then I can't sleep because of the headaches. Everything will be all right though. Just in need of the weekend. Check on me every now and then to make sure I haven't fallen asleep in the middle of work or something ;) Want to do something fun this weekend?

The Zombie Lama said...

You had me cringing for a bit there....

Lee Ann said...

Zombie ~ haha! I know, it made me cringe too.

Calzone said...

Fun for me would be tying you up, putting an apple in your mouth and spanking your ass. Is that what you were thinking of?

I have to get off these pills

Lee Ann said...

....as long as the ties are soft and fur lined and you tickle me in between spanks!

ticharu said...

Ticharu smirked :)

Becky said...

LMAO, that picture was scaring me for a second. Good one Lee Ann, thanks for the smile to start off my Friday! :-D

Lee Ann said...

Tich ~ Hope you have a great weekend!

Becky ~ It is funny, have a great weekend.

Saur♥Kraut said...

*LOL* I hadn't heard this one yet. It had great Freudian overtones, and I waited to hear some sort of female analogy, so the ending really surprised me.

Edge said...

I chuckled openly in a hearty fashion!

~Jef

Neo said...

Lee Ann - Ok, I'm never eating pickles again! That is just too skeevy!

Grosso! *cringe*

;)

The Husband said...

i for one haven't heard that joke. thanks for sharing.

Lee Ann said...

Saur ~ I am glad I could give you a laugh. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

Jef ~ I am laughing just thinking about you laughing! Have a super weekend.

Neo ~ heehee, hahahaha!
Oh, sorry! Have a great weekend.

Lee Ann said...

Carl ~ Hey cutie! Any great plans for the weekend? It is Ironbowl weekend here. The biggest football game of the year. This is the game the people of Alabama LIVE for! haha I will try to make sure I can find out who wins ;)

Chick said...

Made me laugh ; )

twolf1920 said...

I was crossing my legs while i was reading this post. Very funny Leeann!

If you are gonna get spanked by calzone, you should post the pics on HNT!

Lee Ann said...

chick ~ Everyone needs a good laugh!

twolf ~ Sorry, I didn't mean to make you on edge! But it was funny. Sorry t...that would have to be a private thing (no pics for that;) Do you have any great plans for the weekend?

Menzies Milngavie III said...

I say! Rather good story, that one. Bit rude, of course. Too rude for Mrs Milngavie, but I'll try it out at Sir Harry's tomorrow lunchtime and hopefully let you know how it goes.

MM III

Lee Ann said...

MMIII ~ I love how proper everything is over there. Just keep saying "I say"...I love that.

twolf1920 said...

LeeAnn-Damn! oh well..I guess I will just have to imagine it then.

I am going rollerblading at the Metrodome in Minneapolis!

Calzone said...

T'wolf that is so how not to get chicks.

Carslemane Foraix said...

G'day Lee Ann.

I had this idea to tag people, but I dunno how, so I asked Robbo, coz he's got lots of trams & trains, and he says you do this:

You've been tagged here sport.

Geez its hot here, and the sun's not up yet!

Good on yer, and hope to read your tag.

BeckEye said...

I coudln't fully enjoy the joke...just the thought of pickles makes me want to vomit! Pickles and mushrooms....eeeeyuuuuck.

Lee Ann said...

T ~ so you are going to imagine Calzone spanking me?....hmmm (I hadn't even imagined it yet)...
Hope you have fun rollerblading.

carsle ~ I will do my best with it. Thanks!

Beckeye ~ I am not crazy about mushrooms either! I do like pickles, only dill though, never the sweet ones...yuck...sweet pickles!

twolf1920 said...

Leeann-I have a VIVID imagination! Thanks! I will have fun blading~Since Biking season is over, I haveta do something else!

Calzone-WHAT isn't the way to get chicks? I have fucking TOURETTES, and I don't give a fuck!

Don't ya know? Have a good time on the road trip tho!

Kay Ray said...

There are a few pickles I'd like to slice up right now!! have a great weekend LeeAnn

TTYL

Kay Ray

Lee Ann said...

T ~ hmmmm....what else are you imagining?
I used to be an avid bike rider when I lived in Florida. Once I moved here, I stopped, it is too hilly :( Rollerblading is hard, you may have to teach me sometime!

Kayray ~ haha! You too, if you go out singing again, sing one for me:)

Frank The Tank said...

haha... that's funny. thanks for making me laugh today!

hotboy said...

I've been reading about a guy cutting his gonads off, so this was much better. Great haircut in the HNT thing. In the land of the blind, the one eyed ... is queen! Hotboy

jiggs said...

I was going to tell a story about my johnson and a rusty pipe, but it's probably way too gross.

Just kidding. It's not that gross.

Lee Ann said...

Frank ~ anytime, I needed a laugh today as well!

Hotboy ~ oh yes, this does sound better than what you were reading. Just funny! Thank you!
I always love hearing from you hotboy!

Lee Ann said...

muffin ~ what happened....as long as it's not too gross!
Hey are we partying at Calzone's while he is gone....that way we don't have to mess up the Castle or any of our homes!

Snaggle Tooth said...

I come n read here sometimes, but you're gettin so many commentz I tend not to usually... but here I can help ya!

The cure for the sleep prob = herbal tea.
"Chamomile" puts me out instantly, as does "Noni" tea (hawaii) if ya can find it. Also, Cal-max, a drink powder by MediaPower in Portland ME. has calcium n magnesium n vitamin C, works great also. Bonus it also cures the head aches!
I'd still have all night migrains without these things... seems to afflict alot of women these days!

There's a tomato slicer at the restaurant I used to work for, scary to think of puttin the "cantaloupes" in there! yikes!
That would be the female cut version... my 2 cents...

twolf1920 said...

LeeAnn-I would LOVE to teach ya to blade. Its [pretty easy-If you can Ice skate you can blade.

Oh, and I can imagine QUITE a bit..Yessir!

Calzone said...

have a good weekend sugar

Friends of McDougal said...

Hey, Lee Ann - Nice joke, and thanks for the star --

Can you do this?

Lee Ann said...

Bye baby, have a safe and fun weekend!

Friend, I will!

Henri Banks said...

made your HNF pics in one its Hot!!!

Henri Banks said...

http://henribanks.blogspot.com/

Lee Ann said...

Doctor ~ haha, I look a little green around the gills in that picture. You made need to help make me feel better! hahaha

twolf1920 said...

you feeling ill Leeann?

Lee Ann said...

t ~ go look here: http://henribanks.blogspot.com/

twolf1920 said...

You ARE looking a little green Leeann!

Lee Ann said...

T ~ I guess that is what I would look like with short hair!

Fred said...

No, I haven't heard of this one. It does make me a little sour on pickles right now, though. Ha!

Have a good weekend.

twolf1920 said...

You are a cutie either way!

Lee Ann said...

Fred ~ I know, but I guess it's better than making you sweet on pickles now...(lame attempt at joke!) haha You have a good weekend too!

T ~ aw, thank you...*blushing*

twolf1920 said...

*Does the happy dance*

I made her blush!!!

crallspace said...

When I was a kid, there was this girl who'd show us her "private" in exchange for seeing our dongs. One day, she got tired of always pulling her pants down, and said that one of us would have to stick our member into a grill. I couldn't stick it into the grill fast enough. Luckily, it wasn't on.

Goan Pao said...

The joke felt eerie at first, but now i will cringe every time i see a piclke slicer

Lee Ann said...

Snaggle ~ Thank you so much for stopping by! I am glad you decided to comment. I appreciate the tips for the headaches, it is definitely worth a try.
Oh yes, you are right about the canteloupes in the tomato slicer....ooooohhhhh, not good!

I hope you will come back by again!

T ~ so you get a kick out of making me blush! ;)

Crall ~ you are right, you were lucky it wasn't on.....haha you are such a boy!

robmcj said...

I say! What a superb entry in Carslemane's writing competition. Good show!

Ellen said...

Lee Ann- Just getting around to saying hello... and thanks for the joke. We didn't have a pickle slicer at our restaurant, but did have the tomato one that Snaggle referred to. Those blades are sharp! Ouch to whoever wants to try that out!

Also- good advise on the tea for your headaches! Sleepytime by Celestial Seasonings is loaded with camomile and will indeed put you out. Chamomile is also good if you have a "tummy-ache". Hope it helps!

angel, jr. said...

I love that joke. And yes I heard it a million times, but it's still funny. Thanks for the laugh.

twolf1920 said...

Ahhh..Good Morning Lee Ann!

Lee Ann said...

Goan ~ I am sure you will at least think of this joke next time you see any kind of slicer! haha

Rob ~ I have been trying to think of something to say in Carslemane's tag, but my brain is not thinking!

Ellen ~ Oh that tomato slicer sounds bad! Thank you for the tips with the headache and tummyache. I am definitely going to try them.

Angel ~ Yes, laughing is so good for you. The best is when you are alone thinking of a particular incident that was funny and you just uncontrollably burst out.

T ~ good morning, and good afternoon. Hope you have been having a good Sunday!

twolf1920 said...

Ys i am, LeeAnn-And thanks for all of your kind words on my blog!

i hope you have had a good sunday too!

Lee Ann said...

T ~ I am bored, I guess I will go eat dinner...(bowl of cereal) and watch Grey's Anatomy (the one show I really like to watch...don't know why, I just enjoy it). I will check back in a little later...cya!

Rex Venom said...

Sure looked like there was an 'ouch' coming!
Rock on!

Lee Ann said...

Hey Rex! I haven't seen you for a while, glad you stopped by. Ouch is an understatement, right? hahaha...stop by again.

twolf1920 said...

UGH! I just got done rollerblading for 2 hours followed by mexican food..

I ates too much I dids!

Lee Ann said...

T ~ you probably will digest it quickly since you have burned all of the calories blading! Full belly will be ok soon.... time to relax now :)

twolf1920 said...

...and thus it is 11:30 PM and the heartburn cometh....

I wonder if this how Calzone feels all the time? I mean he IS a dragon...

Dave Morris said...

I can't believe crall space fell for the old "stick your member in a grill" line.

My pickle shriveled during that joke. Thank God it had a "happy ending."

mojoala said...

tsk, tsk, tsk!

I think your picture of a pickle slicer added to the mental anguish....