There once was this man who worked in a pickle factory, who had this very great and powerful desire to put his "member" in the pickle slicer. This went on for years, and he couldn't stand it, so he decided to seek professional help for this odd infatuation of his.
He spends a few months with the shrink, and the doc finally gives up and tells the man that since his desire is so powerful to put his "member" in the pickle slicer, the only way to get over it was to do it. The man gladly agrees and says he will do it the next day at work.
The next day he comes home from work about 11 AM. His wife is very worried and asks what happened. He explains to her, for the first time - the desire he has had to put his "member" in the pickle slicer.
And then explains that he couldn't take it any more and today he did it.
She gasps and runs over to him, yanks down his pants and briefs, only to see his "member" perfectly normal and intact. She looks back up and says, "I don't understand, what happened to the pickle slicer?"
"I think she got fired too."
Ok, I know you have probably already heard this one, but I thought it was funny. I needed something funny, because it's Friday and I am tired! I hope all of you have an excellent weekend.
*Hugs* cya later ~
62 comments:
You are always tired lately dog. I've noticed when I look in your windows at night that you are going to sleep a lot later. Take care of yourself baby
Good morning baby. I thought I caught a glimpse of you out the window last night! I have just been a little sleepless lately. I get headaches when I don't sleep, then I can't sleep because of the headaches. Everything will be all right though. Just in need of the weekend. Check on me every now and then to make sure I haven't fallen asleep in the middle of work or something ;) Want to do something fun this weekend?
Zombie ~ haha! I know, it made me cringe too.
Fun for me would be tying you up, putting an apple in your mouth and spanking your ass. Is that what you were thinking of?
I have to get off these pills
....as long as the ties are soft and fur lined and you tickle me in between spanks!
Ticharu smirked :)
LMAO, that picture was scaring me for a second. Good one Lee Ann, thanks for the smile to start off my Friday! :-D
Tich ~ Hope you have a great weekend!
Becky ~ It is funny, have a great weekend.
*LOL* I hadn't heard this one yet. It had great Freudian overtones, and I waited to hear some sort of female analogy, so the ending really surprised me.
Lee Ann - Ok, I'm never eating pickles again! That is just too skeevy!
Grosso! *cringe*
;)
i for one haven't heard that joke. thanks for sharing.
Saur ~ I am glad I could give you a laugh. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Jef ~ I am laughing just thinking about you laughing! Have a super weekend.
Neo ~ heehee, hahahaha!
Oh, sorry! Have a great weekend.
Carl ~ Hey cutie! Any great plans for the weekend? It is Ironbowl weekend here. The biggest football game of the year. This is the game the people of Alabama LIVE for! haha I will try to make sure I can find out who wins ;)
Made me laugh ; )
I was crossing my legs while i was reading this post. Very funny Leeann!
If you are gonna get spanked by calzone, you should post the pics on HNT!
chick ~ Everyone needs a good laugh!
twolf ~ Sorry, I didn't mean to make you on edge! But it was funny. Sorry t...that would have to be a private thing (no pics for that;) Do you have any great plans for the weekend?
I say! Rather good story, that one. Bit rude, of course. Too rude for Mrs Milngavie, but I'll try it out at Sir Harry's tomorrow lunchtime and hopefully let you know how it goes.
MM III
MMIII ~ I love how proper everything is over there. Just keep saying "I say"...I love that.
LeeAnn-Damn! oh well..I guess I will just have to imagine it then.
I am going rollerblading at the Metrodome in Minneapolis!
T'wolf that is so how not to get chicks.
I coudln't fully enjoy the joke...just the thought of pickles makes me want to vomit! Pickles and mushrooms....eeeeyuuuuck.
T ~ so you are going to imagine Calzone spanking me?....hmmm (I hadn't even imagined it yet)...
Hope you have fun rollerblading.
carsle ~ I will do my best with it. Thanks!
Beckeye ~ I am not crazy about mushrooms either! I do like pickles, only dill though, never the sweet ones...yuck...sweet pickles!
Leeann-I have a VIVID imagination! Thanks! I will have fun blading~Since Biking season is over, I haveta do something else!
Calzone-WHAT isn't the way to get chicks? I have fucking TOURETTES, and I don't give a fuck!
Don't ya know? Have a good time on the road trip tho!
There are a few pickles I'd like to slice up right now!! have a great weekend LeeAnn
TTYL
Kay Ray
T ~ hmmmm....what else are you imagining?
I used to be an avid bike rider when I lived in Florida. Once I moved here, I stopped, it is too hilly :( Rollerblading is hard, you may have to teach me sometime!
Kayray ~ haha! You too, if you go out singing again, sing one for me:)
I've been reading about a guy cutting his gonads off, so this was much better. Great haircut in the HNT thing. In the land of the blind, the one eyed ... is queen! Hotboy
I was going to tell a story about my johnson and a rusty pipe, but it's probably way too gross.
Just kidding. It's not that gross.
Frank ~ anytime, I needed a laugh today as well!
Hotboy ~ oh yes, this does sound better than what you were reading. Just funny! Thank you!
I always love hearing from you hotboy!
muffin ~ what happened....as long as it's not too gross!
Hey are we partying at Calzone's while he is gone....that way we don't have to mess up the Castle or any of our homes!
I come n read here sometimes, but you're gettin so many commentz I tend not to usually... but here I can help ya!
The cure for the sleep prob = herbal tea.
"Chamomile" puts me out instantly, as does "Noni" tea (hawaii) if ya can find it. Also, Cal-max, a drink powder by MediaPower in Portland ME. has calcium n magnesium n vitamin C, works great also. Bonus it also cures the head aches!
I'd still have all night migrains without these things... seems to afflict alot of women these days!
There's a tomato slicer at the restaurant I used to work for, scary to think of puttin the "cantaloupes" in there! yikes!
That would be the female cut version... my 2 cents...
LeeAnn-I would LOVE to teach ya to blade. Its [pretty easy-If you can Ice skate you can blade.
Oh, and I can imagine QUITE a bit..Yessir!
have a good weekend sugar
Hey, Lee Ann - Nice joke, and thanks for the star --
Can you do this?
Bye baby, have a safe and fun weekend!
Friend, I will!
made your HNF pics in one its Hot!!!
http://henribanks.blogspot.com/
Doctor ~ haha, I look a little green around the gills in that picture. You made need to help make me feel better! hahaha
you feeling ill Leeann?
t ~ go look here: http://henribanks.blogspot.com/
You ARE looking a little green Leeann!
T ~ I guess that is what I would look like with short hair!
No, I haven't heard of this one. It does make me a little sour on pickles right now, though. Ha!
Have a good weekend.
You are a cutie either way!
Fred ~ I know, but I guess it's better than making you sweet on pickles now...(lame attempt at joke!) haha You have a good weekend too!
T ~ aw, thank you...*blushing*
*Does the happy dance*
I made her blush!!!
When I was a kid, there was this girl who'd show us her "private" in exchange for seeing our dongs. One day, she got tired of always pulling her pants down, and said that one of us would have to stick our member into a grill. I couldn't stick it into the grill fast enough. Luckily, it wasn't on.
The joke felt eerie at first, but now i will cringe every time i see a piclke slicer
Snaggle ~ Thank you so much for stopping by! I am glad you decided to comment. I appreciate the tips for the headaches, it is definitely worth a try.
Oh yes, you are right about the canteloupes in the tomato slicer....ooooohhhhh, not good!
I hope you will come back by again!
T ~ so you get a kick out of making me blush! ;)
Crall ~ you are right, you were lucky it wasn't on.....haha you are such a boy!
I say! What a superb entry in Carslemane's writing competition. Good show!
Lee Ann- Just getting around to saying hello... and thanks for the joke. We didn't have a pickle slicer at our restaurant, but did have the tomato one that Snaggle referred to. Those blades are sharp! Ouch to whoever wants to try that out!
Also- good advise on the tea for your headaches! Sleepytime by Celestial Seasonings is loaded with camomile and will indeed put you out. Chamomile is also good if you have a "tummy-ache". Hope it helps!
I love that joke. And yes I heard it a million times, but it's still funny. Thanks for the laugh.
Ahhh..Good Morning Lee Ann!
Goan ~ I am sure you will at least think of this joke next time you see any kind of slicer! haha
Rob ~ I have been trying to think of something to say in Carslemane's tag, but my brain is not thinking!
Ellen ~ Oh that tomato slicer sounds bad! Thank you for the tips with the headache and tummyache. I am definitely going to try them.
Angel ~ Yes, laughing is so good for you. The best is when you are alone thinking of a particular incident that was funny and you just uncontrollably burst out.
T ~ good morning, and good afternoon. Hope you have been having a good Sunday!
Ys i am, LeeAnn-And thanks for all of your kind words on my blog!
i hope you have had a good sunday too!
T ~ I am bored, I guess I will go eat dinner...(bowl of cereal) and watch Grey's Anatomy (the one show I really like to watch...don't know why, I just enjoy it). I will check back in a little later...cya!
Sure looked like there was an 'ouch' coming!
Rock on!
Hey Rex! I haven't seen you for a while, glad you stopped by. Ouch is an understatement, right? hahaha...stop by again.
UGH! I just got done rollerblading for 2 hours followed by mexican food..
I ates too much I dids!
T ~ you probably will digest it quickly since you have burned all of the calories blading! Full belly will be ok soon.... time to relax now :)
...and thus it is 11:30 PM and the heartburn cometh....
I wonder if this how Calzone feels all the time? I mean he IS a dragon...
I can't believe crall space fell for the old "stick your member in a grill" line.
My pickle shriveled during that joke. Thank God it had a "happy ending."
tsk, tsk, tsk!
I think your picture of a pickle slicer added to the mental anguish....
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