Friday, March 16, 2007

For Real?

In Honor of Stupid People . . . .In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner!
No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts"
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish Chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Have a great weekend!

I have not verified the validity of the statements on the above products. I received this through email and I assumed it must be a joke!


Stealth said...

LOL thanks for the chuckle!

JLee said...

hahaha..those are great! I like the one on hair dryers that say "do not use in the bathtub" Yeah, I often dry my hair while bathing.

rob said...

That was great.

PS I think I know the "other use". You take the blades out and pour in a quart of custard. Need I say more?

Anonymous said...

Ya, they are there because some fool tried to do it. Did you miss the Preparatation H box that says "do not take orally"?


Meanie the baby dragon said...

Hi Lee Ann! Can I go swim in your moat this weekend? hehehehe

lecram sinun said...

Damn! I never bough Dial soap for years because I cuold never find the... dial. LOL!

twolf1920 said...

That last one reminds me a little bit of the "nutcracker" scene in "Casino Royale"!

EBEZP said...

They are great I've also been sent that e mail but I'll let you find out if they're true or not!
Just come from twolf site and this is a brill blog, to say nothing of the fact you look HOT!
BTW I could have written your music choices myself.
I will defo be back, you must visit mine when you can, you will be welcome
Bye for now.

Menzies Milngavie III said...

I say Lee Ann,

What are 'Fritos'? Corn crisps, perchance?

In America, do people often iron clothes whilst wearing them? Doviko is an excellent ironer, but, without fail, he uses the board.

Epic post, Lee Ann, many chuckles hereabouts.


jiggs said...

with respect to the christmas light one, a friend of mine wired them up into his clothing so he could have a shiny things inside his clothes.

So i think that might violate the indoor/outdoor use only thing.