Monday, July 10, 2006

Be Strong...

He breaks into a house to look for money and guns.

Inside, he finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.

While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife:
"Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain... do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both.
Be strong, honey. I love you!"

His wife responds:
"He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom.
Be strong honey. I love you, too!"

No jokes tomorrow....a real life story!

37 comments:

Mr. Althouse said...

Now THAT"S funny!

~Mike

truckdriver_sefl said...

Oh wow!!

Now that would suck:-}

jiggs said...

:)

Instantiable said...

Hahahaha! That's way funnier than MY comic!!!

Instantiable said...

Emphasis on way, not my. Excuse my mistake.

Gyrobo said...

I really got the metaphors. For example, the vasoline represented free trade and the clothes stand for the eternal struggle of the proletariat.

Or maybe not.

The Husband said...

that would really suck.

lecram sinun said...

ROFLMAO!

MyUtopia said...

That ones a groaner!

Violet said...

When I began reading, I thought this was going to be some type of serious post. I caught on about halfway through.... Pretty funny.

Dave Morris said...

And you punctuated it with a picture of vaseline! This blog never disappoints!!

Thanks for the laugh.

Otis said...

I guess everything worked out in the end for them...don't you think?

hotboy said...

Funny, funny! Hotboy

jamwall said...

"vaselino" is the spanish language version of the musical "grease."

i'm just sayin'

Killdare said...

Think I'd have to fight to the death.

AndyW said...

Vaseline or not,
OW!

BuccoTom said...

LMAO I love that Lee Ann. Great way to start off a week. Hope yours is going well so far babe. Later
Tg

Mystical Me said...

HAHahahahahahah!!
Funny how quick the husband was going to let the wife handle it, fucker is getting it.
Good stuff sweetie!! How are you? I hope all is well & do take care!! love always, MM XOXO

Foto Man said...

ouch , it hurts said the husband.

Neo said...

Lee Ann - LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!

Oh man!

Ah, true love! ROFLMAOPMP!!!!

Thanks!!!

Peace & Hugs,

- Neo

Lee Ann said...

Mike ~ haha....good to see you Mike.

Trucker ~ haha, yes, to say the least!

Jiggs ~ ;P

Instantiable ~ You are funny, I will come check it out. Glad you could come over, please come back more often.

Lee Ann said...

Gyro ~ Hey, that is great! I love how you put a spin on things.

Carl ~ Yes, it definitely would! (seems like there should be another pun here somewhere)

Lecram ~ Hey! I know, me too!

Myutopia ~ Oh, you are right!

Lee Ann said...

Violet ~ Hahaha, that does make it funnier.

Dave ~ Hey, I have missed you. *giggle*

Otis ~ Hahaha, yes, what an ending is right!

Hotboy ~ Almost sick isn't it?

Lee Ann said...

Jams ~ haha, you are too funny!

Killdare ~ I wouldn't blame you!

Andy ~ Oh, no kidding!

TG ~ Oh thank you. Yes, and I hope things are going well for you sweetie.

Lee Ann said...

Mystical ~ *giggle* Funny how things look so differently now, huh?

Foto ~ Hey! It is good to see you here. No doubt, poor hubby! I hope to see you over here more often.

Neo ~ Haha, I am glad that made you laugh!
We can all use a good laugh!
~hugs to you Neo

Angela said...

I love this story. Thanks for the laugh. Angela

Becky said...

lmao, I can just see that happening with me and chris, although chris is so protective I'm sure he'd have flipped out by then.

Looking forward to a life story!

Lee Ann said...

Angela ~ Oh, I am always glad to make someone smile. Please come back more often.

Becky ~ I know what you mean about that protective thing.
I hope you don't get your hopes up too high for a great story...you know, it's just life! ;)

Instantiable said...

lee ann, thanks back at you for your visit. You actually missed the comic blog though ;-)

http://humanextinction.blogspot.com/

I hope you don't mind me posting that here, if you do, feel free to delete it, I will not take the slightest offense!! =)

Have a great day, any time you post to me, I'll read your updates (and comment), promise!

Lee Ann said...

instantiable ~ I went over there. They are funny!

Instantiable said...

Thanks! Sometimes I wonder if my humor is too esoteric even for myself...

Phats said...

haha nice!

Lee Ann said...

instantiable ~ :)

phats ~ Hey! I want to visit, will have to tomorrow, sooooo tired. cya later cutie!

WDKY said...

I love this... I heard it ages ago and I laughed then too :-)

Cherry! said...

HAHAHAHA!! Hilarious!

Henri Banks said...

hahahaha that a good one
hi Lee Ann I´m home again!!!

Lee Ann said...

wdky ~ Yes, it is good for a laugh! ;)

Cherry ~ Hey! Glad I could make you smile.

Henri ~ Hey! I have missed you. Glad to see you have come back!