Thursday, August 24, 2006

Things to ponder

If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip's Screwdriver?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.

When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

Why isn't 11 pronounced one-ty one?

"I am " is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do " is the longest sentence?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?

Do married people live longer than single people do or does it just SEEM longer?

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?

Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?


Foto Man said...

That's quenching to start Thirstday ... I mean Thursday !

betchacantguesswho said...

Very insightful! lol

Meanie the baby dragon said...

duzt dopt in tu day hi!

john said...

I know womeb who gave their age as 'ty 9 !

BKS said...

So much to think about so early in the morning ....thanks:D

Hope you have a great day!!

Cinderella said...

Things that make you go hmmmmmm....

Lee Ann said...

Foto ~ I know, a lot to read, but even if someone gets one funny thing out of it, I will be happy!

BCGW ~ Hey! I am glad you have come to the Castle for a visit. It is always nice to see you here.

baby dragon ~ Hey! I haven't seen you for a while, are you going to come swim in my moat again soon?

Lee Ann said...

John ~ I know, me too! haha
I would rather say older, then people think I look great for my age!

Brad ~ I know, you take a little at a time, it is easier that way! ;)

Shannon ~ haha, you are cute!

hotboy said...

Made me smile a lot! Hotboy

coach said...

I like stuff like this .Makes me feel smart .Thanks.

Cinderella said...

Awww thanks, you're not too shabby either =)

Lee Ann said...

Hotboy ~ I am glad!

Coach ~ Well, you are!

Shan ~ Thanks girly! ;)

JLee said...

those are awesome! thanks...

Gyrobo said...

A whack is defined as:

"Four jerks under a jiffy."

At least that's one dictionary's interpretation.

jiggs said...

"I am " is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do " is the longest sentence?

I like that one. Also the one about roman doctors.

Lee Ann said...

Jlee ~ Glad you liked them!

Gyro ~ Oh, thank you...what is a jiffy?

Jiggs ~ I like that one too! ;)

~TVS said...

Do Romans call IX-I-I for an emergency?

Why are a slim chance and a fat chance the same thing?

Lee Ann said...

tvs ~ Oh, very good ones! Thanks!

Phats said...

haha these made me laugh, and I am glad I didn't have to use my brain to understand them cuz i am super tired

Lee Ann said...

Phats ~ Thank you, I am glad you enjoyed them.
I am heading for bed myself. Have a good nite.

jamwall said...

superman's got no problem about stopping bullets, but sheesh! don't throw a gun at him!

that thing could have kryptonite bullets!


jamwall said...

i'm coming to the castle. prepare for nonstop levels of soothing hands, luscious touching and a gaze that will suck out your soul.

i'm like a soothing "soul vacuum."

don't worry, i'll do nice things with it.

robmcj said...

he he!

Lee Ann said...

Jams ~ Kryptonite bullets...there's an idea! Ok, soothing hands, sound very nice! What time cutie?

Rob ~ ;)

ticharu said...

That was all good fun but tomorrow is STILL Monday!

Lee Ann said...

Tich ~ Yes, and then the week follows! I get off early on Friday for the holiday weekend! YAY!
Have a great week!

Oun said...

What if all the people of this world could share just one day of peace?

Lee Ann said...

Oun ~ Hey! So glad you could come by. I think that would be awesome, definitely a start! Hope you will come by more often.