A true email that I received

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I get the feeling my boss thinks I'm lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was too humiliating. I mentioned I sustained a head injury, and hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then I reasoned, I could think up something to explain the bandage on top of my head.

The True Story:

The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.
Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife call to me from the kitchen. "Honey, the garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."
"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!"
"But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?"There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take a second."

So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as cowardly.

Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning and any respect to my circumstances.
No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our kitty, which discovered the fascinating dangling objects hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. At the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from "Harry and the Twins".
Wild animals are faced with a fight or flight syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose the "flight" option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.
When I woke, my wife and paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of "been-here, done- that" paramedics. Even worse, fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, trying to suppress their hysterical laughter and not succeeding.
Somehow I lived through it. A few days later I made it back to the office,where colleagues tried to coax an explanation about my head. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about -- which it was.
"What's the matter?" They asked, "Cat got your tongue?" Close, but not exactly.

**The above story was presented to me as truth, but the truth is I really don't know, and I really don't care whether it is or not. I just thought it was funny and the thought of something like this occuring in real life would just make it funnier! :)