Wednesday, June 28, 2006

You poor guys!

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands!

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: May I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: May I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

SomeThings PMS Stands For:
* Pass My Shotgun
* Psychotic Mood Shift
* Perpetual Munching Spree
* Puffy Mid-Section
* People Make me Sick
* Provide Me with Sweets
* Pardon My Sobbing
* Pimples May Surface
* Pass My Sweatpants

I guess I am one of the lucky ones. I truly do not suffer from PMS in this manner.
I do have several friends that do, the same as the examples above (physically and mentally)....
I am sorry for all of the gals (and men) that have to live with this.


Leesa said...

I saw this the other day. Funny.

In a movie recently, I heard the following joke:

"Why do they call it PMS?"

"Mad cow disease was taken"

Funny thing that hubbie looked at me to make sure he could laugh. And I thought to myself, am I that much of a bitch?

Osbasso said...

You can have all the chocolate you want, OK?

twolf1920 said...

Simply put I have found if I assume that ALL women I encounter are suffering from PMS, and treat them accordingly, I tend to not run the risk of being emasculated that day.

Its a shame that I suffer from A.D.D and forget this sometimes!

MyUtopia said...

LOL, brilliant!

The Husband said...

PMS sucks.

Spencer said...

Funny I love it!

Violet said...

I don't usually get PMS in a cranky sort of way. I end up being emotional and crying all over the place. I have a feeling that either way, people don't really want to be around me.

hotboy said...

Enjoyed reading that! My pal's wife goes kind of mad. I've heard her nagging him for twenty minutes straight (like staccato, without commas or full stops). Quite a force of nature! She does this without any insight at all. Amazing really. Then his daughter started! I'd have lived permanently in my hut. All my connections seem neither up nor down, thank God! Hotboy

robmcj said...

Hi Lee Ann, hop everything's going okay. I gave you a mention on today's HNT.

robmcj said...

leesa - LOL.

HB - my commiserations to "your pal"

NIKEY said...

worry not . there's a new pill that will do away with menstrual cycle for women. check google . it will soon be in the market .
meantime , girls , here's some chocolates !

BKS said...

Funny post Lee Ann and might I offer you a Mr Goodbar ....


Jason said...

It really doesn't matter what I say. My wife usually pays little attention to what I say anyhow.

Ellen said...

Pass More Shocolate.... yup, that works for me!

Lee Ann said...

Leesa ~ That is funny! You have a good hubby!
I am sure you are not, he was being thoughtful, right!

Os ~ Thank you, that sounds good!

T ~ I think that is a good idea, better to be safe.

Myutopia ~ I know, almost funny, but not at the same time... :)

Lee Ann said...

Carl ~ I know!

Spencer ~ ;) Glad to see you.

Violet ~ I would have to say, I am more like that too (very emotional).

Hotboy ~ Wow, sounds like the hut is a good place to be for that!

Lee Ann said...

Rob ~ Thank you Rob, you always put a smile on my face.

Nike ~ I definitely would like the chocolate, thank you very much!

Bks ~ ;) Now that is a very nice offer! (I saw that Movie)

Jason ~ Oh, I am sorry Jason. Well, I am glad you came to the Castle today, I was thinking about you.

Lee Ann said...

Ellen ~ Oh yes, the chocolate is good, very good. :)

boo said...

imma lucky gurlie girl too. i do not have any girlie problems associated with PMS: headaches, cramps, pimples, tummyaches. nice funny list {{lee ann}}

Lee Ann said...

Boo ~ That is good. Unfortunately I do get cramps, but not any real PMS symptoms.

FreeThinker said...

It's great to be a guy -- one mood, all the time!

Dave Morris said...

Mmm. Did you hear Nestle's bought Jenny Craig? I'm not sure how that impacts you, but thought you'd want to know.

jiggs said...

enjoy the chocolate!

Lelly said...

That is SO funny Lee Ann! I am pre-menstrual now, and there is only one SMALL kit-kat chunky in the house!

Neo said...

Neo passes Lee Ann some chocolate


Peace & Hugs,

- Neo

Lee Ann said...

Free ~ Hey Free, I was thinking about you yesterday. Glad you stopped by. I do happen to know a few guys with more moods than me. But yes, most guys are pretty even keel.

Dave ~ ahaha....very good!

Jiggs ~ Awww, thank you Jiggsy.

Lelly ~ I understand. Sometimes chocolate is just necessary! ;)

Neo ~ You really are sweet Neo. Thank you.

Fame said...

Lee Ann this was funny and right now I need funny in my life! Boy do I! :-)

Lee Ann said...

Fame ~ I completely understand.
Glad you are here.