Dictionary for Decoding Women's Personal Ads
40-ish..........................................49
Adventurous.................................Slept with everyone.
Athletic.......................................No breasts
Average looking............................Mooooooo.
Beautiful.....................................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure........................On medication.
Feminist.......................................Fat.
Free Spirit....................................Junkie.
Friendship first...............................Former Sl*t.
New-Age.......................................Body hair in wrong places.
Old-fashioned................................No BJ's.
Open-minded.................................Desperate.
Outgoing.......................................Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional..................................B*tch.
Voluptuous....................................Very Fat.
Large frame...................................Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate...........................Stalker.
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let’s have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
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46 comments:
Oh goody! I'm first. Hi Leann. Nice dress! Would you like to go out to dinner sometime?
;-)
very funny....and so true!
I stopped by courtesy of Phoenix's blog. This list is great--the "friendship first" and "soul mate" ones are hysterical!!
-- david
Damn, now the secrets are out!
ROFLMAO! And all true!
Mostly if a guy speaks to a woman at ALL, he wants to bone her.
Killdare ~ "Maybe" haha
You are cute!
Carl ~ I know Carl...
How are you today?
David ~ Oh, I am glad you came to visit. I hope you will come by more often.
Andy ~ Shhhh! We won't tell!
Lecram ~ ;) Well, true, right?
T ~ Oh really?
*blushing*
;)
All right on the money!!
Have a nice day Lee Ann!
No wonder . Everytime I had dinner with a woman , I end up in bed ! Darn .
And everytime I wanted sex , I ended up having dinner . Double Darn.
I love #5 for the women! I actually laughed out loud to that one. "You'll be sorry"!
The truth is that it's all far too close to the truth for comfort. Especially Pt 1!!!
Eerily true :O
Brad
That is great...now I can write my own personal add the right way!!
SWF, 30ish who is open-minded, outgoing and quite athletic. Can be very professional if the situation arises and I am looking for my soul mate...immediately. Did I mention I am not old-fashioned?
Can you post the men's meanings now so I can add a "seeking" section to it??
Thanks for dechipering all of this for me :) it's really helpful!
see simple minded men mean no guess work....I never knew that newage ment shag carpits at the Y....but U missed one...11) Thanks for the beer....I love u more than my grill.
Lee Ann - these are great! I'm reading them to The Missus as we speak. She loves 'em!
Damn, someone already asked you out to dinner. Well, how about a movie?
Lee Ann - Hey....... now wait just a minute there!
Hmmmm, on second thought, you might be right. ;)
Peace & Hugs,
- Neo
Trucker ~ I know, that was pretty good! Thank you Trucker, you too!
Foto ~ Sounds like that could be good either way! Was it?
Nike ~ You are right! Yes, uh NO, uh...now I don't know! ;)
Myutopia ~ Sounds like that could be right!
wdky ~ Sounds like you are speaking from experience.
bks ~ I know! :)
tumble ~ Haha...that is great! If I find out what the men's meanings are, I will let you know!
Phats ~ Glad I could help! ;)
Honkeie ~ Now, that is a good one!
Shannon ~ haha...I know they are great!
Fred ~ I think everyone sees a little truth to these!
Jason ~ Yes, I mean No....hmmmm (which one means which?) ;)
Neo ~ awww...you are cute!
*hugs*
darlin' I may have to steal this post from you (with proper credit of course!)...fukkin BRILLIANT!
Now that's my kind of language!
Your posts are always so clever! I'll be back for HNT!
Check out the movie on Hippo's blog!!!! You are so cute!
le chat ~ be my guest...I loved it too!
Hippo ~ I knew that about you!
::smooches::
Sabatkes ~ I did watch it. That was awesome...You were in the very beginning, it was great. Hippo is so talented.
true story, leann!
the problem is that women always try to translate what men say into their own language and men always think that women are speaking man-ese....
we need one of those star trek translator thingy-s...
Ironically, when men say "I'd like to have sex with you", it really means "i just want to talk about feelings."
That's the funniest so far! Hotboy
This is why men think commmunication is overrated. It really doesn't take too much to get across what we want to say.
Violet ~ Hahaha, I think in the man's language, they usually have the one thing on their mind. Don't you think? :)
Jiggs ~ Oh, now that is interesting! Thanks for sharing that.
Hotboy ~ Do you think that has any truth to it Hotboy?
Lepercolony ~ Haha...that is funny.
Too much laughing this morning! I'm gonna bust a gut.
Tich ~ Sorry!
Laughing is good for you....Hope you have a great day!
OK, this one made me laugh out loud. Did you make this up?
Yeah... so?
Just visiting.
Man, that was funny! I'm so putting you in my favorites!!!
No means yes! ;-)
Great fun Lee Ann. And true.
hi, can i take you to dinner?
LOL!
SG ~ I cannot take full credit for this one! It got me too!
Dave ~ ::smirk:: ;)
pavel ~ Hey! I am so glad you stopped over. I hope you will come by more often.
Jason ~ haha.... are you trying to trick me?
Rob ~ Rob, there is some truth to it, right? haha
Jams ~ Yes, (I think I know what I think I mean, do you know what I am thinking?)
This is right on! LOL
Fame ~ too funny, isn't it!
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